Sometimes a tree is just a tree. And sometimes it’s nature’s version of a Rorschach test. What do you see when you look at these trees?
Some are just growing funny, and look like something else.
Like marine life. (Or something out of H P Lovecraft)
Maybe a Ninja Turtle that didn’t quite make the cut.
Sometimes spectacular damage can make one thing look like another.
Like a broken tree branch that was blown down by the wind looking like a guy out for a brisk walk.
Or the exposed wood in this broken branch looking otherworldy and angelic.
‘Otherworldly’ isn’t always a good thing.
Meet Demon Tree.
You know how pets sometimes look like their owners?
This tree is growing in a graveyard. Tell me if you don’t see a skull in its trunk.
Some coincidences look vaguely human.
Others could look like a dwarf enchanted by some storybook witch.
There’s a special place in Hell for whoever put the ‘eyes’ on this tree.
How many cars do you think drove off the road in the middle of the night when the headlights sweep across this abomination?
Suddenly, it’s easier to understand how the ancients could imagine trees having ‘spirits’ or ‘personalities’. This one looks so much like a woman, you some actual women might be jealous of her ‘figure’.
But usually, funny trees have a ‘face’ of some kind.
Like this tree, that obviously went through something unpseakably traumatic.
(Can’t help but think of that ‘The horror’ scene from Acopalypse Now.)
This face happens to be a dragon. But it still counts.
If one has to endure the insult of even ONE more Jack Russel peeing on it…
This tree seems genuinely unhappy.
I think I saw this guy in Lord of The Rings… The Two Towers.
And this one is the Grand-daddy of ‘face’ trees. Practically an Easter Island.
Speaking of ‘grand-dads’…
Does your grandpa go off on paltry politicians, whether they be Democrats or Republicans? Does he get misty eyed when he talks about God and Country and America’s future? And have you ever heard him scream, ‘Awww … Hell no!’ when Rosie O’Donnell starts yapping on television? If you answered yes to one, or all of the above, then your gramps will love Doug Giles’ latest book, My Grandpa Is A Patriotic Badass.
Don’t be fooled by the title — this ain’t just for Grandpa.
The Snowflake Generation — and the rest of America — needs a good ol’ dose of ‘Grandpa wisdom’.
Especially if that Grandpa is Doug Giles.
You’ll love My Grandpa Is A Patriotic Badass just as much as Grandpa will.