Katy Perry’s Super Bowl sharks have nothing on the allure of Dolly the Dolphin.
At least as far as Michael Brenner’s concerned.
See, Mr. Brenner’s in love with Dolly the Dolphin.
Like, romantic love.
Like the kind of deep crazy-head-over-fins love that drives one to write a romance novel entitled Wet Goddess: Recollections Of A Dolphin Lover.
Or even be the subject of the new documentary Dolphin Lover.
In the documentary, Brenner recalls how he came to fall in love with Dolly.
And how she seduced him.
In the film he says, “At first I discouraged her, I wasn’t interested. After some time I thought, ‘If this was a woman would I come up with these rationalizations and excuses?’”
No sir, he would not!
“I started rubbing her along her back, working my way to her flukes — her tail,” he says. “And as I was rubbing her and moving my hand towards her tail, Dolly was slowly rolling around her long axis.”
I think I just threw up in my mouth.
If you want to see what happens next, I suggest you watch Dolphin Lover when it hits your local theater.
Or wherever fine dolphin porn is showed.