LMAO! Animal Lovers Lose Their Minds Over This ‘320lb Shrimp’

This is what happens when we raise people without a sense of humor. They get bent out of shape about EVERYTHING.

Written by Outdoor Beasts Staff on September 7, 2017

This is what happens when we raise people without a sense of humor.

They get bent out of shape about EVERYTHING.

There was a spoof story about two fishermen bringing in a 320-pound crustacean, beating the hell out of it, and getting their photo with it.

Two men from the Canadian Atlantic Coast made an astonishing catch while fishing near the confluence of the Matane River and the St. Lawrence River. The fishermen captured a northern prawn measuring over 2.80 meters (9 ft) long and weighing more than 145 kilograms (319 lbs), the biggest crustacean of this type to have ever have been caught.

Rene Kirouac and his brother-in-law, Raymond Bergeron, were sailing aboard their trawl when they noticed some unusual movement along the rocks located near the coast. Upon approaching, they noticed that the movement was caused a giant shrimp, and they set out to capture the amazing creature.

Realizing quickly that their fishing traps would be useless against a crustacean of this size, the two men rushed out of their hunting rifles to handle the huge animal.

“It was the most difficult catch of my life!” says Mr. Kirouac, an experienced shrimp fisherman. “It just refused to die! We fired at it from close range and knocked it repeatedly on the head with a metal shovel, but it had very little effect. It took sixteen .30-06 ammo before it stopped crawling, but we finally got it!” — ILoveNative

In case you still (somehow) thought that story was legit, they added all kinds of tidbits that should have tipped off the reader that this was a gag story and a Photoshopped picture.

Marine biologist Denis Langevin believes that because of its size, the crustacean probably fed on seals and other marine mammals in order to survive.
Prawns can normally grow to about 15 to 16 cm in length, and their average size is about 8 cm. They are carnivores that usually feeds of various forms of zooplankton and this is the first time a specimen of such a size is fished in Canada.

“We took samples of the content of its stomach and the results are absolutely stunning,” Professor Langevin told reporters. “It seems that this particular prawn fed on fish that should have been its predators, such as cod, hake, Greenland halibut and flounder. We even found some seal and beluga meat! This specimen was clearly an abnormality in the food chain.”

Beluga meat? Google ‘Beluga’, and ask yourself how big even a monster shrimp would need to be to eat one?

The claim that it was ‘sold and eaten’ after that should have been another tip-off.

So what did the comment section look like?

Either it’s hilarious to watch their outrage or frightening, once you realize these people live among us. Hard to say which.

Here are a few of the interactions in the comments:

The funny thing is that people keep telling them it was fake. In response to someone laughing at the one (above), we see this response. It escalated quickly. Notice how the same moron who is angry about a fictional prawn so casually mentions beheading an actual person he(?) disagrees with.

And rather than scan the comments and ask themselves… is there something here that looks fishy… they charge right in with their outrage blazing.

Again and again, they fall for it.

Someone named ‘Leo’ bitching about it being a ‘typical man thing’? Like he’s got a hot clue about ANY ‘man things’.

For all the ‘Leos’ out there, get yourself a sense of humor. Grab a clue, and for God’s sake, grow a pair.

Put this book in your butter-soft hands. It’ll steer you in the right direction.

The Effeminization Of The American Male
by Doug Giles


Doug Giles, best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog, ClashDaily.com, has just penned a book he guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity. That is, if the man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome. Buy Now:The Effeminization Of The American Male

 

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